To understand your children, you must always keep intuition in mind; you cannot miss it! Intuition is part of your motherhood and should always be present in any type of communication with your children. There will be times in your children’s lives when you find yourself not wanting to see certain people, whether they are family members or not. Perhaps one of your children tells you that they don’t want to see a specific uncle or grandparents.
Your first reaction is most likely to try to convince him that he has to see them for whatever reason. You want them to change their mind so that you can re-establish family peace, and maybe even once, you force them to say hello and give a kiss or a hug to people they don’t love. Why force them? For complying with social rules? It is better to understand what is happening to find the best solution, depending on each specific case.
When they don’t want to kiss
All children can reach an age when they are more reluctant to give kisses and hugs and do not want to do it whenever they are asked or when “it is the right thing to do.” They may also stop wanting to spend time with certain relatives … But pressuring them to live together and show love when they don’t want to is a mistake that should not be made.
Forcing them to do these things will not make them more pleasant, but rather more vulnerable to developing complacency behaviours, putting them at risk in the future. Risky situations as dangerous as sexual or even psychological abuse. Therefore, never force a child to give kisses or hugs; if they do not want to do it, simply respect that and then talk to him or her.
Always seek respect
Respect is what can never be lacking under any circumstances. Neither the respect of children for adults nor that of adults for children. Children need to be taught to be respectful but not forced to show love to please others when they don’t want to.
In this sense, it is necessary to teach children that they have control of their choices and control over their bodies and in the interactions they have with other people from the time they are young. In this way, they will learn that they have the absolute right to decide what to do and with whom. They will feel that they are in control and that it is not others who decide for them. If you force them to do something they do not want constantly, you will only be cancelling their personality with the risk that that entails.
In addition to the importance of respect for others, respect for oneself cannot be forgotten. It is essential to teach children to value themselves positively. In this way, they can respect themselves and take care of themselves regardless of what others think or say.